Monday, September 23, 2013

UnAttainable by Madeline Sheehan ***ASHLEY'S REVIEW**

This will be censored for GR and Amazon, BUT you guys deserve to see how I REALLY feel!!

Well, where does one start when reviewing a Madeline Sheehan novel?  No really, where do I start?  I guess we can start with thanking Madeline and all the girls that support this amazing author, no matter what.

“Name’s Gail, honey, but you can call me Slitty.  You wanna find out why?”

This is when I knew I was hooked.  It’s one thing for an author to give a shout out in their acknowledgements to their readers and their HUGE fans, but to name a character after them?  Come on now, how can you not LOVE Madeline?

All of Madeline’s books have this way of sucking you in and taking you on a ride you will never forget.  I especially loved UnAttainable because it took on the lives of 4 separate characters with a few of our past favorites all rolled into one amazing book.  I’m tellin ya, a ride you will never forget.  Oh, you don’t want to take a ride?

“Now, get in the car before I call Deuce and he makes you sit in the corner for acting like a douchebag!”

This is a ride all romance fans need to take.  It isn’t for the weak at heart or those who want cupcakes and rainbows in their stories.

“Her only boyfriend to date, a millionaire with a kink fetish who favored cream-colored cable knit sweaters..”

This isn’t that kind of book.  This is what real life looks like.  Nobody has the perfect marriage, perfect boyfriend, perfect job.  Shit happens and life is messy.  That’s why the Un series is so special to me.  No sugar coating.  No bullshit.  Just real.

“You wanna test that theory, you crazy fucking bitch?”

Well, yes.  Yes the hell I do.  Let’s look at Dirty.  I could not help but love him and his twisted as shit mind.  Here you have a man, a man who just wants to be like the other dudes, but is so fucked in the head, he can’t make himself fit into the “normalcy” that we all crave, even if we say we don’t.  Ellie is just a regular ole girl, wanting to fit into a job description, yet the one thing holding her back, is the one thing she can’t control.  Sound familiar friends? 

“Where in the motherfucking-shit-fucking-hell-fucking bullshit had that come from?”

That was me, yanno, showing you one of my new favorite couples in the Un series!!  Onto, another favorite.  Tegan and Cage.  How the hell do I describe these two?  You know that Eminem song, “When a tornado meets a volcano” line.  Yeah, that’s it.  These two are either going to make it or they are going to kill each other in the process. 

Cage – the horny, next in line to the throne, spitting image of his daddy and pain in my ass Cage effing West .. What does Tegan say?  Oh yeah, “a waste of a big dick and a pretty face”.  How can one not love this chick.  

Tegan the smart ass, never shuts her mouth, too good for the rest, loud mouthed bitch GAWD I loved her!!  She has loved Cage since they were kids and just as soon as Cage starts to show her a little attention, she freaks.  And why does she freak?  Uhhh yeah, her worst nightmare coming true.

“pregnant with a little biker baby that, knowing my luck, would be a boy who’d look just like his father, become a biker just like his father, and break a million hearts… just like his father”

Looks like we share the same damn fears, Tegan. 

We get a little Deuce and Eva in UnAttainable which was nice, until it wasn’t.  If Deuce were here, I would have punched him in the neck for some shit.

“Where the fuck is the Patron?”

I needed a drink.  BAD.

But this book was totally amazing.  These are just a few of my favorite quotes.  UnAttainable made me angry, happy, sad, depressed and like Madeline was writing my life story.  Babe, you did good and it’s not reeled the hell in.  It all boils down to one thing and this is how you get through it.

“You love the man, you love the life”

Thank you for this story Madeline.  I can’t wait to get more.  You are so very talented and each time I read something new, written by you, I get a new understanding into why you are so amazing and why you have such a strong following. 

I give this book 5 out of 5 stars.  In a non cable knit sweater kinda way, you feel me?

PS – Dear Batman

“Don’t let that one catch you stickin’ your shit where it don’t belong.  She’s damn crazy and she’ll fuckin’ shoot your ass.”

<3 Ashley with 2 Chicks and a Blog

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