So
I do exactly what I knew I was going to 10 minutes ago. I text Dane.
Laney:
Hey, what r u up 2?
Dane:
Nothing important. You?
Laney:
Just woke up lol. Had quite a day yesterday, trying to recover.
Dane:
Oh yeah, good or bad?
Laney:
Bad. Very. But I don’t want 2 talk about that… Do you play the piano?
Dane:
Um yes…random?
Laney:
Random is good sometimes, right?
Dane:
It is. You okay?
Laney:
Not really, at all. Wanna do random with me today?
Dane:
I’ll be there soon.
I
jump out of bed and run to the shower. I take extra care straightening my hair,
applying light makeup and selecting my outfit. I choose jeans and a black
sleeveless top with black ankle boots that I dug out of Bennett’s closet.
Basically, I dress unlike myself for Random Day: Laney with a dash of Bennett.
I can’t help that my heart flutters when I hear the knock on the door.
When
I open it, all moisture leaves my mouth and heads elsewhere. Dane stands before
me in dark washed jeans, a tight white t-shirt, black boots and disheveled
hair. He smells delicious, the light scent of cologne and freshness graces my
senses from where he stands, and that half-cocked smile he wears as he peruses
me is almost more than I can take. Full frontal awareness hits me—I’ve gone
from never having a boyfriend to a full-on love triangle, head first.
“Well
hello, Disney. You look like walking sin,” he says, sensuality dripping
from every word. Make that a love hexapolyoctagon. I’m screwed.
“Why
thank you,” I say with my chin held high. “Trying something random. You ready?”
“I’m
ready for anything. What do you have in mind?” he asks as I close and lock my
door. I really hope Bennett remembered her key.
“Well,
I’m thinking I can’t skip classes, so we don’t have time to jet away to Fiji.
So how about…we play right left and see where we end up?”
He
gives me a curious look as he opens my door and settles me in the passenger
seat of…a black SUV? Well, of course he has more than one car. I mean, who
doesn’t?
“You’re
gonna have to tell me what this is before I can agree,” he laughs. He hurries
around to the driver’s side and hops in, handing me his phone. He’s going to
let me pick the music, a small but very thoughtful gesture. I choose his Damien
Rice playlist, skipping straight to “9 Crimes.” Maybe he’ll take the hint that
I think of this song when I picture him at the piano. He looks over and winks
at me as it starts, yep; he knows how to play it.
“Every
time we come to a stop, we just choose right or left. But, in a startling new
twist, we’re gonna take turns saying something completely meaningless with each
turn, until we end up somewhere good! Honestly, I could care less where we end
up right now, I just wanna be.”
“I’m
game.” He gives me a smile. “But I kind of wish you’d talk to me about what
happened.”
I
give him the very condensed version, interrupting every few minutes with a
“right” or “left,” and so far our random facts at each tell me that he’s for
morning breath kissing as long as both people have it and he can also play the
violin. I share that I’m the ultimate Beatles fan, but only pre-mustache
Beatles, and brush my teeth about 15 times a day (totally in reaction to his
morning breath comment). He doesn’t ask about my time with Evan or any
specifics, he just hits on the part about Kaitlyn.
“So
what are you going to do?”
“I’m
not going to do anything; what can I do? The chance is gone, at least for this
year. The friendship’s gone, so why even ask her for an explanation? There
isn’t one that will ever fix it. And… nothing, that’s it.”
“Nice
try, Disney, finish what you were gonna say.”
“The
dorm rooms here are really nice, like way better than other colleges’.
How cool is it to have our own bathrooms? You can’t get that just anywhere.”
“That’s
not what you were gonna say, either.” He shoots me a one raised eyebrow look.
“Pull
over then, I want you to look at me when I tell you.”
He
pulls over so fast I slap him in the arm because my life just flashed before my
eyes.
“Do
I have your undivided attention?” I ask him with a smirk.
“Since
the moment I saw you.” He turns in his seat to face me and waits for me to
talk, his face full of question and anticipation.
“I’m
content with where I am. I don’t have to have it fixed. I actually really like
it here. It gets better every day. Besides, I think Sawyer would really miss me
and finally go completely insane.”
He
chuckles at my attempt to alleviate the seriousness.
“I
really like Bennett, and the girls on my team are so talented. We have a real
shot at a banner year. Who cares if the games will never have a camera there,
we’ll still be kicking ass and taking names.” I chance a peek up at him, hoping
his eyes tell me what he’s thinking. They’re such a deep brown, almost black,
and right now I can see my own reflection. His eyes mirror me in this moment.
It gives me the strength to keep talking.
“And
part of me hates it, hates feeling like this, and all of me is scared shitless,
but I suspect my resolve has something to do with the fact that you’re here,
Dane. Never in my life have I instantly connected with someone, not even Evan.
I made him work like a dog for my acceptance.” I chuckle softly at the memory.
“But I find myself wondering what you’re doing all the time, and thinking about
what we could do or talk about if we were together. Tell me the truth; you got
anything like that going on at all?” I laugh nervously, praying that leaves
some question, cause I can’t risk him knowing I’m completely serious right
before he makes me feel like a fool.
He
takes a deep breath and blows it out slowly, reaching over to brush the back of
his hand down my face. “I saw you last night, at the door with him. I saw you.”
His hand still gentle on my face, he forces me to meet his gaze. “Are you two
back together?”
“No,”
my voice cracks.
“I
won’t share you, Laney. Not your lips, not your thoughts, not your body, and
especially not your heart. You don’t have to give it all to me just yet, but
give me nothing if any of it belongs to him. Do you understand?”
“Dane,
it was a long night, we were both hurting.” I blink back the building tears.
“He’ll never not be in my life. I just don’t know what that means right
now.” I have to be honest, with not only him, but myself. And I can’t blatantly
crush Evan; I won’t. “If he was here with me, things wouldn’t be like
this. I can’t lie to you. I don’t know exactly what anything means right now;
I’m trying to be as honest as I can. And I haven’t told Evan about you, not
that I’ve had a chance.” I take a huge, cleansing breath. I feel better having
put it all out there.
“Thank
you for being so honest. It makes me want you even more, and I do want you,
Laney…so fucking bad it scares me. Let’s try this one more time—are you in a
committed relationship with Evan?”
“No.”
“Are
you in love with him?” His hand moves down my face, his fingertips
softly caressing me, and I lean into it and close my eyes. I can’t look at him
when I answer. I don’t want him to see the scared little girl in my eyes.
“I
don’t know.” My own answer confuses me.
I
have no doubt that I love Evan, but am I in love with him? We were so
perfect and the minute we changed it, things got too hard. Yes, college had
everything to do with that, but why couldn’t we last? Was it supposed to be
Evan or was it just that Evan was always there? That’s the thing that scares me
most—why am I so strongly and instantly attracted to Dane? Why do I think about
spending time with him? First temptation? Nope, I don’t feel the pull to Zach,
Tate, Sawyer, Parker…no one else, ever. To be honest, besides Evan, Dane is the
first guy I’ve ever considered liking in my entire life.
“You
didn’t say yes.” His finger is now tracing my lips. He’s going to kiss me, and
I’m going to let him.
I
blow slightly out, teasing his finger, and I hear him inhale.
“I
will never kiss another man’s girl…but you’re not his, Laney. You’re not
mine…yet. But you’re not his, either. So the way I see it, you’re kissable.”
I
say nothing. I just open my eyes and look into his; if he can hear my yes in
that, he can have my kiss.
“Last
chance, Disney. Once I get a taste, I’m coming after you with everything I’ve
got.”
I
couldn’t say no right now if I wanted to, I can barely breathe. His words are
so sexy; they stroke every part of me. He leans into me and I close my eyes.
“Open
your eyes, Laney, look at me. Make damn sure you know it’s me kissing you, and
don’t you ever hide from it.”
I
do as he says and then his lips are on mine. This isn’t the kiss of a best
friend, not the kiss of the boy next door who made you spit-shake on a deal and
will always take care of you. This is the kiss of a madman who wants to make
you scream his name up against a wall. This kiss makes it okay that I even just
thought that, because it’s a fact.
I
can’t take it. I break the contact and throw my head back, trying to catch my
breath.
“Nuh-uh,
not done yet, come ‘ere,” he growls, reaching around the back of my neck and
pulling me to him. He takes my mouth again with lust, bites, and a low groan.
Grabbing my face, he turns it, deepening his angle and the throbbing between my
legs.
Fuck,
this guy can kiss.
Dane
breaks away this time, only slightly, still close enough that his breath
tickles my lips… “That wasn’t random, that was supposed to happen,” he says,
giving me another quick kiss.
After
a brief silence, simply because I still haven’t recovered the ability to speak,
he pulls back into traffic with his right hand now interlaced with mine. He
gives my hand a squeeze before he asks, “where to?”
Seriously,
I’m expected to think? “Um, right…and I hate coffee but I love
coffee ice cream.”
We
turned until dark, never actually making it to a destination.
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